This being suicide awareness month, I just finished watching a Gathr at Home film - Tell My Story. In this film a father whose son died by suicide shares his journey of grief, understanding and bringing together information about why suicide continues to increase in causes of death, especially in children 12-24. And most importantly, what can parents do to prevent these tragedies. 

Many parents I have met in past 19 years have blamed themselves for their child's suicide. They all believe that they could have done something. Maybe that is true. Maybe there are some things we can do as parents that would allow our children to know that their life is worth living and that the pain they feel can be talked about. 

Being a parent whose child died by suicide, it was hard to watch this film and yet, it also brought forth information about what parents can do to be more supportive for their kids when they are hurting. I realized I could have done better with my son. My son, like many kids who suffer from depression, become very good at hiding his true feelings. As he got older, he  turned to alcohol to deaden the feelings. I tried to connect with him, but I really didn't know how and was often afraid to see him feeling so bad and I didn't know how to make it better for him. 

When you see that your child could use some advice, how do you get them to be receptive to you? Are they eager to hear what you have to say? Or do they put up walls and shut down, or go immediately into defending themselves? This is actually a very natural response, when confronted about something that isn’t working out.
 
You will find that your child will be more receptive if you approach them in a way that doesn’t put them in defense mode and instead will get them to be more receptive to you through listening and sharing with you. (no more eye rolls!)
 
How do you do that?

Online Schooling means having the kids at home for school lessons. This can certainly be a challenge. Parenting is a challenge and while we usually do not ask for more challenges, what if this is an opportunity for something great to happen? I have heard plenty of parents complaining about the inconvenience and the hardship that they anticipate having their kids home for schooling will create. I have also heard parents approach this new adventure to help their child face a new challenge and work together to figure it out.

Which parent are you?

Did you know that you do not have to go it alone in this new challenge? What if you AND your child looked at what needs to be done to make this work? What if you were both willing to continue to try things to see what will create the best outcome? If you are making yourself the sole decision maker, you are missing out on empowering your child to take ownership of their learning and developing a team effort that includes both of you.
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Questions you can ask of you and your child:

Note from Be You Parenting: It doesn't really matter what time of year it is, getting kids outside can sometimes be a struggle for parents. If you are looking for a variety of ways, not to mention reasons, to encourage your kids to get outdoors the following article gives you a complete list of ideas. The article was shared with us from Courtney McNally.  Tag this article as a resource to return to refresh your ideas and to share with your children the many ways that they can grow, learn and thrive by being outdoors. ​

Submitted by ​Laura Pearson

​Keeping your kids engaged and learning outside of the classroom is challenging at times, even for the most creative moms and dads. However, there are ways to raise the bar on informal education, and it doesn’t need to feel difficult or unwieldy for you or your children. In fact, with the following ideas incorporated into your strategies, you might find it feels quite natural—and even downright fun!

It is that time of year where we look for the perfect gift to give to our loved ones.
What if there were a gift that you could give that would not only be the BEST gift you can give but also the gift that allows you to receive more than you may have ever thought possible?

While your loved ones may not be formally asking for this gift, I know that in their hearts, it is what they would truly like, even love, to receive from you. And they may not thank you right away for this gift, but in the future, they will look back and be grateful that you chose to give them this gift. 

This gift requires more than a shopping trip, it will require a deep desire to truly want to deliver this gift all year long.

What could this gift possibly be, that would be so fulfilling and even life changing?

The holiday season is a cause for joy for many reasons. There's time with family and friends to enjoy, presents to give and receive, and festive food to indulge in. Kids, in particular, get excited about this time of year, especially about the presents. As a parent, however, meeting the expectations of your little ones can be daunting. Surveys suggest that many moms and dads worry about being able to fund their children's wishlists. If you find yourself stressing about this point, follow this guide to budget-friendly gifting for kids.