Caring for Kids- Post Election
It is easy for adults to get caught up in emotions following the results of an election. This year has been a draining year when it comes to emotions. Adults who interact with kids would be wise to be aware of how these fueled emotions may be affecting kids. Many kids are sensitive to emotions and don't realize the difference between what belongs to someone else and what is theirs. This will cause children to fall into anxiety, sadness, anger and confusion which may be released through different behaviors.
My first suggestion is to do your own check in with where you are at with your feelings and emotions. Are you projecting any of that in any way that your children may be picking up on. Remember, you don't have to say anything, they will sense it without any words being said. You may be able to take a clue or two from your child and connect to their world of infinite possibilities. What else is possible through this that we have never considered? - may be a starting point to get yourself in check. What would it take for you to find your own peace and calm?
Next, be aware of any changes that your child may be demonstrating that are not their usual behavior or responses. Check in with what you are aware of about this and what do you sense it may be about. Then you can ask your child, "What are you experiencing, feeling or thinking?" If they bring up that they are sad, angry, confused, anxious, mad, or frustrated, you can ask them if they know what that might be about. They may say they don't know, which is one way of them telling you that it isn't theirs; they don't have a reason to be in such a mood. You can then offer them a way of releasing the feelings, which really aren't feelings, but rather they are perceiving these energetic moods and attaching them as real for them. Let them know that they can take charge and destroy and un-create those feelings and thoughts. One way is to choose how you would like to release or destroy those thoughts and feelings. One boy told me that he liked to light a fuse and let it blow up. Another girl told me that she imagined doing a karate chop that broke it all to pieces. It is up to them. Allow them to use this to destroy those emotions that aren't theirs and to choose how they would like to be feeling. For more ideas watch the video above.
Teaching kids that they don't need to be controlled by emotions, theirs or those of anyone else empowers them to choose a better response that isn't steeped in fear or doubt. It is what empowered parents offer to their kids.
Self acknowledgement is a vital tool for being a more empowered parent and human being. As one begins to acknowledge self or others, a dynamic follow up is to be in question, to be curious. Whether acknowledging what is working or what isn’t, asking questions will empower one to access more possibilities and exercise the freedom to choose for oneself. And freedom is something many of us are yearning to be and to have.
When exercising self-acknowledgement, asking questions will lead into more awareness. For example, if I acknowledge that I made a choice that worked for me, following it up with a question can lead to making more beneficial choices. Getting to where we are free to make choices that work for us is our ultimate target.
Asking questions offers choices from possibilities and as questions are asked, one will get a sense of which choices will give one truly desires. As this skill is developed, the power to choose will be made easier from a knowing that goes beyond limited thinking that previously was used to make choices. More Freedom!
These examples will give you an idea of the power of self acknowledgement and how to follow up with questions.
This being suicide awareness month, I just finished watching a Gathr at Home film - Tell My Story. In this film a father whose son died by suicide shares his journey of grief, understanding and bringing together information about why suicide continues to increase in causes of death, especially in children 12-24. And most importantly, what can parents do to prevent these tragedies.
Many parents I have met in past 19 years have blamed themselves for their child's suicide. They all believe that they could have done something. Maybe that is true. Maybe there are some things we can do as parents that would allow our children to know that their life is worth living and that the pain they feel can be talked about.
Being a parent whose child died by suicide, it was hard to watch this film and yet, it also brought forth information about what parents can do to be more supportive for their kids when they are hurting. I realized I could have done better with my son. My son, like many kids who suffer from depression, become very good at hiding his true feelings. As he got older, he turned to alcohol to deaden the feelings. I tried to connect with him, but I really didn't know how and was often afraid to see him feeling so bad and I didn't know how to make it better for him.
I have been playing with the concept of acknowledgement, I find myself automatically labeling what I am acknowledging as good, more so than as bad. Being of a curious nature, I began to ask what that was all about. What was GOOD about that experience, that choice, or that situation? What does good really mean?
As I explored further, I found that by going beyond GOOD, I found a treasure of information that I could connect to on a more energetic and empowering level. Come journey with me as I share a few examples that I have had as well as what my clients have shared with me.
When you see that your child could use some advice, how do you get them to be receptive to you? Are they eager to hear what you have to say? Or do they put up walls and shut down, or go immediately into defending themselves? This is actually a very natural response, when confronted about something that isn’t working out.
You will find that your child will be more receptive if you approach them in a way that doesn’t put them in defense mode and instead will get them to be more receptive to you through listening and sharing with you. (no more eye rolls!)
How do you do that?
Online Schooling means having the kids at home for school lessons. This can certainly be a challenge. Parenting is a challenge and while we usually do not ask for more challenges, what if this is an opportunity for something great to happen? I have heard plenty of parents complaining about the inconvenience and the hardship that they anticipate having their kids home for schooling will create. I have also heard parents approach this new adventure to help their child face a new challenge and work together to figure it out.
Which parent are you?
Did you know that you do not have to go it alone in this new challenge? What if you AND your child looked at what needs to be done to make this work? What if you were both willing to continue to try things to see what will create the best outcome? If you are making yourself the sole decision maker, you are missing out on empowering your child to take ownership of their learning and developing a team effort that includes both of you.
Questions you can ask of you and your child:
Note from Be You Parenting: It doesn't really matter what time of year it is, getting kids outside can sometimes be a struggle for parents. If you are looking for a variety of ways, not to mention reasons, to encourage your kids to get outdoors the following article gives you a complete list of ideas. The article was shared with us from Courtney McNally. Tag this article as a resource to return to refresh your ideas and to share with your children the many ways that they can grow, learn and thrive by being outdoors.
Garden Activities for Children
Children need to be raised in a healthy, balanced way. To achieve this balance, it’s essential to create activities for kids that help improve their mental and physical health. In this article, we’ll examine the benefits of introducing children to outdoor activities and the numerous ones available. So, if you are a parent looking for ideas with which to engage your kids, then read on.
Do Kids Listen to You?
Parents and adults often wonder why kids won’t listen to them or do what is asked. If you have experienced this, it can be very frustrating and you can find yourself getting angry with the child as well as with yourself.
When we are confused and frustrated it often means that we don't have enough information. So how do you get information that will allow a person to listen and act according to what you desire? The solution to getting more information is to simply ask a question either of yourself or of the child when a child is not engaged in listening.
I recall working with two boys on their reading comprehension. One of the boys noticed one of the keys to success that I had posted on the wall above me. He asked me what the key meant. The key had the words, "You are Awesome!" on it. I asked him if he was awesome. He shrunk back and sheepishly said, "No I don't think so." The other boy who was with him also said that he, himself was definitely not awesome. I was so surprised by not only their words but their body language as both boys became so much smaller.
After playing with them a bit and asking some questions about what would make a person awesome and what were their specific gifts, both boys were able to state with confidence that, 'Yes I am Awesome!" repeatedly in my presence. One boy talked of his gift of knowing all about dinosaurs and how proud he was of all that he knew about them, especially after I shared that I knew only a little about dinosaurs. The other was keen on his gift of drawing and how he could make stories of his drawings. It was a joy to see them expand out of their smallness and into the awareness of their own greatness.
As soon as mom showed up, the boys went back to being small and they saying that they weren't awesome. Interesting huh?
Submitted by Laura Pearson
Keeping your kids engaged and learning outside of the classroom is challenging at times, even for the most creative moms and dads. However, there are ways to raise the bar on informal education, and it doesn’t need to feel difficult or unwieldy for you or your children. In fact, with the following ideas incorporated into your strategies, you might find it feels quite natural—and even downright fun!
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.