A Parent Finds Love Through Receiving
As I write this heart tears are streaming down my face. Tears of joy and love for having had the opportunity to be loved by a child with such depth that it allowed me to love myself deeper. Tears of gratitude to have said, “Yes!” to bringing this illuminated being into my life. And yes, tears of sorrow that I didn’t have more time with this amazing being. These tears remind me of the value of loving myself in ways I never knew I could before and continue to put effort in having more self-love.
It began...
...On February 14, 1982, Valentines' Day, my son Ben was born. This bright-eyed, beaming little boy challenged me with his strong will and touched my heart with his tender caring that he offered to others. Little did I know the true significance of him choosing that day to enter my life. The gift of love that he has given me is more than I ever could have imagined possible. Nor did I know what it would take for me to fully receive that gift.
It began...
...On February 14, 1982, Valentines' Day, my son Ben was born. This bright-eyed, beaming little boy challenged me with his strong will and touched my heart with his tender caring that he offered to others. Little did I know the true significance of him choosing that day to enter my life. The gift of love that he has given me is more than I ever could have imagined possible. Nor did I know what it would take for me to fully receive that gift.
On March 4th, 2001 he left this world unexpectedly through suicide and showed me to March forward with the love that he shared and would continue to share with me. I did not know at that time what was in store for me. I didn't even believe I had the strength to go on. He chose dates that were messages to me- to come in with a heart full of love and to leave with the promise that life will march forward in deeper love.
Now here I am 15+ years later continuing to receive the love that he offers to me as I discover what a parent's love really encompasses.
While we may all be tempted to call this a tragedy, the real tragedy would be to keep this gift all to myself. Initially, I know in my heart that having received this for myself was the first intention. It has given me a life I love living and an allowance for me that has allowed me to grow and love myself more than I ever have before and it keeps growing.
Now I share it for all parents to receive. It is why I am so compelled to offer a different perspective to parents about the gift of being a parent and how they can be more of themselves as a gift to their children.
My son, Ben has shown me that a Loving, Empowered Parent:
- Empowers their child to step into his/her own greatness. even after this life ends.
- Knows that love endures forever, and nothing can diminish it, not even death
- Allows a child to make choices that may be hard to live with and to trust that all choices have Divine purpose – a gift to be received.
- Receives the opportunity to learn from their children; to open their hearts to allow transformation through their presence and even through their physical absence.
- Sees their child as perfect just as they are.
- Is reminded that they parent the best they can in each and every moment, continuing to ask more questions for greater possibility.
- Teaches children that all are infinite beings with infinite possibilities.
- Leads by example that there is not a place for judgment, only allowance, support and encouragement.
- Expresses gratitude for every moment this life is shared.
- Opens a parent's heart to pain and heartache as they step into deeper love and welcomes oneness and life.
As you connect to the gift of being a parent, what can you be and do to receive the love of your child that allows you to love yourself more each day?
What if you could see yourself through the eyes of your child? What would you see?
Are you willing to allow the presence of your child to be the gift that allows you to be more of who you be by letting go of all that isn't truly you?
What if you were truly grateful for your child just as he/she is now? What would that create for both of you?
What have you received from your child that you can now acknowledge?
The gift is here- it is up to you to receive it.
Below is a recording of Beyond Grief and Into Joy, Mary shares further about the gift her son gave her.