This being suicide awareness month, I just finished watching a Gathr at Home film - Tell My Story. In this film a father whose son died by suicide shares his journey of grief, understanding and bringing together information about why suicide continues to increase in causes of death, especially in children 12-24. And most importantly, what can parents do to prevent these tragedies. 

Many parents I have met in past 19 years have blamed themselves for their child's suicide. They all believe that they could have done something. Maybe that is true. Maybe there are some things we can do as parents that would allow our children to know that their life is worth living and that the pain they feel can be talked about. 

Being a parent whose child died by suicide, it was hard to watch this film and yet, it also brought forth information about what parents can do to be more supportive for their kids when they are hurting. I realized I could have done better with my son. My son, like many kids who suffer from depression, become very good at hiding his true feelings. As he got older, he  turned to alcohol to deaden the feelings. I tried to connect with him, but I really didn't know how and was often afraid to see him feeling so bad and I didn't know how to make it better for him. 

When you see that your child could use some advice, how do you get them to be receptive to you? Are they eager to hear what you have to say? Or do they put up walls and shut down, or go immediately into defending themselves? This is actually a very natural response, when confronted about something that isn’t working out.
 
You will find that your child will be more receptive if you approach them in a way that doesn’t put them in defense mode and instead will get them to be more receptive to you through listening and sharing with you. (no more eye rolls!)
 
How do you do that?