Are You Caught in a Parent Trap? You are not alone.
As I reflect on my early parenting years, I didn't even realize the trap that I had set for myself through the role of parenting. I had no idea that in the process I would lose myself. I took on the responsibility of everyone's happiness in my family. And when things didn't go the happy way, whose fault was it? Yep- mine. The funny thing is that the more I tried to be the source of everyone's happiness, the more unhappy our family became. We encountered money problems, control issues, marital struggles, alcoholism, and so much more pain and suffering. What went wrong? Even in the midst of all of that I could not see how I had set my own trap. I certainly felt trapped. And what I didn't realize was I was the only one who could release the trap and set myself free until "tragedy" struck and it became a matter of life and death that I took the action to begin to set myself free.
The first thing I had to do was to acknowledge that I was the owner of my trap. Yes indeed, I was the one who set it and who stepped into it. I had to let go of blaming others for the place where I had landed. No one was at fault for any of the unhappiness, trauma, drama, and hurts of my life. As long as I am blaming others for my life circumstances, I can never be free to change any of it. I have given away all my power to someone or something else. It is time to get over that and to begin the process of getting out of my own way and claiming the true power of living and choosing to create my own life by having allowance, seeing what's really true and being in the space of question and possibility.
So ask yourself some honest questions- Are you blaming others for how your life is turning out? Are you ready to move into the greater power of you? Are you ready to change even a small percentage of all that is holding you back?
Are you willing to acknowledge that you have been putting the blame somewhere else? Will you look at what areas of your life have been affected by playing the blame game? This is all awareness and information that will assist you in changing it into something that is greater.
I found that by blaming others for my life and living, I was creating a distraction from facing my own talents, abilities, and capacities to create the life that would be to my liking. I didn't recognize my own power to create a life on my own. I also didn't acknowledge the capacity of my loved ones to also do that. Somewhere I had bought that I had to provide that for them, rather than allow them to discover, experience and choose for themselves the life that they desire- whatever that may be. I still catch myself at times wanting someone else to fix my life, as if they have the power to do that. Then I follow these steps to change that thought:
When I can step into my own power to create a different way of being, I change the reality that I have created so far. When something isn't working, don't keep doing it the same way, do something different. Only you have the power to release the trap and step out of it. Until you recognize that you are the one who choose to be in the trap in the first place, you will continue to look for others to get you out of it. And that will lead you down the path of disappointment and dis-empowerment.
One thing I found when I began to set myself free was that I became a better parent to my kids. I was able to empower them, because I was empowered. Do you think that the family will fall apart because you won't be there in the same way holding it all together? What if the opposite will happen? What if you empower your family by knowing they also have the power within them to create the life they each desire.
Empowered Parent Challenge: Take the challenge- the first step in making a change is to acknowledge your awareness of what isn't working. What trap have you set for yourself that keeps you from being as empowered as you could be? Share your trap below and together we will destroy and uncreate those traps. I wonder how many of us have set ourselves up in the same kind of traps. Once you have identified your trap, using the steps above, begin to set yourself free.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.