In this day and age of operating systems, we experience what happens when our technology devices operate at an old system. I experienced this with my Windows XP system. (Apologies to those who are avid Apple fans, I think you will still get the metaphor). I felt very comfortable with my XP system. I knew how to navigate it and liked how it worked. When newer systems came out that were more efficient and offered more, I was resistant at first to change to them. I really enjoyed the comfort of my XP. I wasn't even all too sure that the newer systems were that much better. And as updates go, eventually the older systems just aren't as effective and can't keep up with the newer technologies.
So what does this have to do with parenting? Ask yourself if your kids are responding to your way of parenting. You may not even need to ask, you may already know that some areas that you are parenting from are not the correct system for your kids. You can usually tell by the amount of exhaustion, confusion, anger and frustration you experience as a parent. Do you keep trying to parent using the same system? Do you keep getting an ERROR message? Do you feel out dated and that your kids are much faster in this day than you were at their age? Unfortunately, unlike computer systems, you do not get an automatic update when a new system is required with your kids. However, you do get the signs that something isn't working and something different is needed.
What I have discovered is that some of my out of date operating parent systems were due to trying to parent like someone else, and not by allowing myself to trust myself to be the best parent for my kids. I would mimic my parents methods only to find that my kids did not respond the same way I did as a child. As I acknowledged that my kids chose me to be their parent, I realized that it was up to me to show up as me, not someone else. I began asking more questions about what my kids needed and I trusted myself to know more than I had ever thought I knew. I stopped judging myself both as a parent and as a being. When I screwed up and got angry or reverted back to old parenting styles, I offered a "re-do" or apology and kept the self judgment out of it. I learned to laugh at myself as I continued to learn how to be more of me. Being able to ask questions that empower me to know what it is I need to know, is my access to updating my parent/child operating system. Asking my kids questions about what they know and are aware of empowers them to assist me in knowing more of who they BE.
Is now a good time to take a look at your operating system to see where it needs an update, a question, and new way of being? Be You Parenting offers a guide to assist you in creating the operating system that will be more efficient and create more of the results you are looking for. We help you let go of the old programs and discover new, easier and more effective ways to parent and be with your children. Contact us for a consultation.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.