This is a day that can bring up so much energy!
Being a mother it can bring all kinds of expectations and definitions of what it means to be a mom. And then you get to judge yourself to see if you measure up. You may even enter into feeling guilt when your kids offer to do something special for you or give you a gift, thinking that you haven't done enough or what you have done was damaging to your kids.
This may remind you of all that you have sacrificed to be a mom. I hear from more moms than you might think that being a mother is not at all what they thought it would be- and this day can be more of a reminder of all of that! More guilt for not wanting to be a mother! Can you feel how heavy this day is for some moms? And if you feel this heaviness, I wonder if it is even yours or are you picking up some of these thoughts and feelings from other moms? What is a mother to do on this day? And then there is how do you honor your own mother?
Receiving acknowledgement for who we be is vital to being able to be more of our true selves. We can limit ourselves by not receiving. How many mothers have witnessed their mothers and grandmothers pooh pooh any accolades for being the mom they were being? It wasn't allowed. We weren't supposed to honor ourselves or receive recognition. And yet I am wondering how that feels to our loved ones offering the recognition and appreciation. What other possibilities might there be that would allow this day to be a HAPPY day and one of celebration, one of receiving?
What would it take to first of all remove all expectations of what Mother's Day means and allow it to be a grand and glorious day that allows us to experience happiness regardless of who or what is done or said?
Ask if you have any expectations of your children and how they NEED to acknowledge you and all you have done for them. How will you be if they don't? Notice that I didn't say How will you feel? Will you allow them to dictate how you be? We are such silly creatures- on the one hand we want to be acknowledged and yet when we are we won't fully receive it. I wonder how confused our children may be about what is the right thing to do. And are they acting out of guilt or out of genuine appreciation? What if we didn't impose any expectations or guilt for anything that they choose to do or not to do. At the end of the day, I will still be me and I would like to be more of me not less, because of how I responded to the day's happenings.
What if I could be in more allowance of me without any judgment, and celebrate all of the choices I have made and the part they have played in getting me to where I am? What if I could find more gratitude for my life, my choices (even the choice to be a mother and all that is) and having a day in which to celebrate my choice to be a mom? What questions could I begin to ask about those areas of my life that trigger any ill feelings? What awareness might I receive from those questions that could assist me in making some changes in my life? Are there concepts and ideas and expectations that I have been holding onto that prevent me from being able to fully celebrate all that I BE? Is now a good time to begin to remove those from my life?
- Maybe this is a day to reflect on what it means to you to be a mother and how is that working for you?
- In what ways have you changed being a mom?
- What do YOU bring to being a mother that contributes to your life and the life of your children?
- Is this also a day to celebrate not only being a mother but also all that you BE?
What if you are more than a mom; you are a being here to be all you can be, whatever that is?
How much more of you is there to celebrate?
There really isn't a need to define yourself as anything unless you would like to be limited in this lifetime and kept from being more than you ever thought possible. I am pretty sure that you be and do more than what you be and do as a mom.
As a matter of fact, being an empowered mom requires that you be all that you BE through the choices you make for you. It isn't about being a super mom and having to prove who you be by all that you do. Being you is about being what you choose, what works for you, what makes you light up and in turn light up the world? And then taking action in that direction. It is about shedding any guilt you carry for being more than a mother and in being a mother you are being more of you.
The world appreciates you showing up with all your talents, abilities and capacities that will contribute to the planet and to your kids in the process. Your children will get to see that life is full of experiences and that we can all enjoy life through our own unique way of being here.
This day may be a celebration for honoring your mother for all she did do for you. You may be struggling with feelings of guilt because you feel like you should honor your mom, regardless of who or what she has been in your life. And honoring a person can be much different than what the outside world would have us believe.
Commercialism would tell us that Mother's Day is a day for cards, gifts, telling mom how much she has done for you, visiting mom, calling mom, and so on. All of these ways of expressing how much you love your mother, whether you feel love or not, can call up some uneasy feelings. It can bring on guilt about how you should do this or feel this and yet you don't. So what is a son or daughter to do with all of this? Mostly each year we do what we feel we have to or we fall into the energy of judging ourselves and judging our mothers- good or bad. What if something else were possible?
What if honoring your mother was about acknowledging who she is/was without any judgment? What if you could get to the place of acknowledging that you chose your mother and by choosing her, it has allowed you to become more of who you BE? Good or Bad, Right or Wrong- let that go. She did the best she could with what she had at the time.
What if we could let go of any idealism we have about what a perfect mom is?
Could we be in more allowance of our own mother as well as ourselves? And from this place, how would you like to honor your mother? Allow it to come from a place of choice, not I "have to do this." The longer we continue to blame our mothers (or fathers or anyone else) for our faults and our limitations, the longer we get to be less of who we be. Granted some of the experiences that some people received from their mothers are things that will take some time and some outside assistance to heal, but beginning to let go of the story and begin to create something different for now and the future might be what will give you more of what you would like to be and have in this lifetime.
It can be the greatest gift you give yourself. Happy Mother's Day!
Discover more about Empowered Parenting by author and inspirational speaker, Mary Dravis-Parrish at BeYouParenting.com