Self acknowledgement is a vital tool for being a more empowered parent and human being. As one begins to acknowledge self or others, a dynamic follow up is to be in question, to be curious. Whether acknowledging what is working or what isn’t, asking questions will empower one to access more possibilities and exercise the freedom to choose for oneself. And freedom is something many of us are yearning to be and to have.
When exercising self-acknowledgement, asking questions will lead into more awareness. For example, if I acknowledge that I made a choice that worked for me, following it up with a question can lead to making more beneficial choices. Getting to where we are free to make choices that work for us is our ultimate target.
Asking questions offers choices from possibilities and as questions are asked, one will get a sense of which choices will give one truly desires. As this skill is developed, the power to choose will be made easier from a knowing that goes beyond limited thinking that previously was used to make choices. More Freedom!
These examples will give you an idea of the power of self acknowledgement and how to follow up with questions.
Self-Acknowledgement: I yelled at my daughter for forgetting her lunch for the second time.
Question: How can I respond differently to my daughter when she forgets things? What if I didn't take responsibility for her forgetfulness and I allowed her to figure out her own solutions? What else is going on with me when I get angry and yell? Am I feeling like a bad parent when my child makes a choice that impacts them and me?
Choice: I choose to stop and give myself time to choose how best to respond when she forgets something. I choose to ask her what she needs to help her remember.
Self-Acknowledgement: I didn’t react to my partner when I came home, and dinner wasn’t ready. We were able to talk about what was happening as to why dinner wasn’t ready, and I discovered it wasn’t about me at all. My partner had gotten off work later than usual and had to deal with another family matter. We then had fun fixing dinner together.
Question: What would it take for me to continue to not react in situations that I take personally? What would it take for me to continue to ask for more information without jumping to conclusions?
Choice: I choose to stop and ask questions before I react. I choose to not make other people’s choices about me.
Self-Acknowledgement: I received my work review, resulting in a pay raise.
Question: How much gratitude can I have for this job that continues to offer me the means to support myself and my family? What else is possible for me to improve my work/job situation?
Choice: I choose to receive from others in all areas of my life.
These examples are simplified, and yet as you play with this process, you will find that you may go from acknowledgement to question and then back to acknowledgement before getting to the choice. Choices also may not come immediately, as we ask questions, it may take time to receive the awareness of other possibilities.
We have access to infinite possibilities as well as endless choices. Being in the exercise of expressing acknowledgements and asking questions, opens one up to receive more awareness for more choice.
Going to question when acknowledging someone else, as when a parent acknowledges a child will empower the child to reflect on further possibilities that lead to the child and even the parent to making a choice.
Here are a couple of examples:
Acknowledgement with Question:
Parent- You cleaned your room up without me telling you to. What else are you capable of doing on your own?
Parent- The dog has not been fed yet. When do you plan to do that? Did we both agree that you would do that every night?
Parent- You seem angry and upset. Is there anything you need from me? I am here if you want to talk about it.
Just imagine the possibility of choices that can result from these parent/child interactions. Parents are discovering that using acknowledgements with their children, does make parenting easier and has eliminated many heated arguments and yelling.
And of course, using questions when acknowledging others will make the acknowledgement flow with more ease, as in these examples:
Acknowledgement with Question:
Partner: You cooked a delicious meal. How did you get so talented? What other amazing dishes do you know how to cook?
Co-worker: Your team effort allowed us to get this project done on time. Where did you get that team spirit effort?
Family member: Your plans for the holidays will not work for us this year. What if we make plans for another time this year?
It can take some effort to think about questions to ask. It may be helpful to write down acknowledgements that you notice for yourself as well as for others and come up with follow up questions. Building deeper bonds in relationships takes effort. Many of us weren’t raised with these kinds of connections with ourselves or with others. As you practice it will come easier and as your children learn these skills, it will become natural for them.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.