As one begins to acknowledge self or others, a dynamic follow up is to be in question. Whether acknowledging what is working or what isn’t, asking questions will empower one to access more possibilities and exercise the freedom to choose for oneself.
In the situation of self-acknowledgement asking questions will lead into more awareness. For example, if I acknowledge that I made a choice that worked for me, following it up with a question can lead to making more beneficial choices. Getting to where we are free to make choices the work for us is our ultimate target. Asking questions will offer choices from which to choose and as questions are asked, one will get a sense of which choices will give us what we are truly asking for and the choice will be made from knowing that goes beyond our what our minds or brain can tell us. Here are some examples.
Self-Acknowledgement: I didn’t react to my partner when I came home, and dinner wasn’t ready. We were able to talk about what was happening as to why dinner wasn’t ready, and I discovered it wasn’t about me at all. My partner had gotten off work later than usual and had to deal with another family matter. We then had fun fixing dinner together.
Question: What would it take for me to continue to not react in situations that I take personally? What would it take for me to continue to ask for more information without jumping to conclusions?
Choice: I choose to stop and ask questions before I react. I choose to not make other people’s choices about me.
Self-Acknowledgement: I stayed up late watching TV, and was tired all day today. I knew my body was tired.
Question: What will it take for me to make a different choice in the future? What was so vital that I chose TV over taking care of my body?
Choice: I now choose to ask my body what it needs and honor it by listening and caring for my body.
Self-Acknowledgement: I received my work review, resulting in a pay raise.
Question: What would it take to have more of that? How does it get any better than that?
Choice: I choose to receive from others in all areas of my life.
These examples are simplified, and yet as you play with this process, you will find that you may go from acknowledgement to question and then back to acknowledgement before getting to the choice. Choices also may not come immediately, as we ask questions, it may take time to receive the awareness of other possibilities. We have access to infinite possibilities as well as endless choices.
Going to question when acknowledging someone else, as when a parent acknowledges a child will empower the child to reflect on further possibilities that lead to the child and even the parent to making a choice.
Here are a couple of examples:
Acknowledgement with Question:
Parent- You cleaned your room up without me telling you to. What else are you capable of doing on your own?
Parent- The dog has not been fed yet. When do you plan to do that? Did we both agree that you would do that every night?
Parent- You seem to be angry and upset. Is there anything you need from me? I am here if you want to talk about it.
Just imagine the possibility of choices that can result from these parent/child interactions. Parents are discovering using acknowledgements does make parenting easier and has eliminated many heated arguments and yelling.
And of course, using questions when acknowledging others will make the acknowledge flow with more ease, as in these examples:
Acknowledgement with Question:
Partner: You cooked a delicious meal. How did you get so talented? What other amazing dishes do you know how to cook?
Co-worker: Your team effort allowed us to get this project done on time. Where did you get that team spirit effort?
Family member: Your plans for the holidays will not work for us this year. What if we make plans for another time this year?
It can take some effort to think about questions to ask. It may be helpful to write down acknowledgements that you notice for yourself as well as for others and come up with follow up questions. Building deeper bonds in relationships takes effort. Many of us weren’t raised with these kinds of connections with ourselves or with others. We were most likely taught to say, “please” and “Thank-you”, and with practice we go those down. So too, with acknowledgement and question, as you practice it will come easier to you.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.