Is Your Child a "Know it All"?
As I was reading this article, I was congratulating the adults who were willing to have the kids participate in creating food options that work and taste good for them. These adults acknowledged that the kids had the capacity to know what to do. They were in allowance of giving them the space to work it out for themselves.
What would happen if we could trust kids to know what they know to contribute to the changes that our world needs?
What would happen if adults would trust kids of any age to come up with possibilities that create more ease?
What if we could be in allowance of any idea shared by a child? *
Teaching kids at an early age that you trust them to know instills in them the confidence that they require to trust themselves. They appreciate you acknowledging their knowing and by doing so you keep them connected to what they know. One of my favorite questions to ask kids is, “What do you know about that?” Depending on the child, you may get no response or a whole dissertation. For those who have no response, that is okay. It allows them to connect to the possibility that they do know something. At some point, they will come to you with what they know.
There are parents who are always telling their kids what they think they should know or solve their problems for the kids. These parents don’t trust their kids to know and quite possibly they don’t trust themselves to know either. This is not about judging these parents, as most of us have fallen into this trap, having grown up not knowing how to access our knowing. It is about being aware if this is true for you and choosing to change it. There are times when a parent can offer some assistance in helping a child to know or to gain the knowing by offering suggestions. It may sound like, "I wonder what you know about ..." or "What do you think about this idea...?" This allows the child a chance to connect and consider what they know.
Ask yourself how much do you trust yourself to know all that you know? Have you turned to others to tell you what is best for you? Do you know how to access your knowing? For some this may seem like a silly question, and yet there are times that you may recall that you just knew something without thinking about it. You can access that knowing more consciously by asking questions like, “What do I know about this?” and “What am I aware of in this situation?” Reconnecting with your “Knowing” muscle will allow you to acknowledge and trust your knowing, even if it is different from someone else’s. It is easier to acknowledge your child’s knowing if you acknowledge your own.
I wonder what this will change in your world and in your child’s world?
*Note: Being in allowance does not mean that you accept the idea or even have to choose to do it, it does mean that you acknowledge it as an idea without any judgment. One way to do so with your child is to say something like, “I have never thought of that. That is a creative idea. I wonder how that would work in this situation. Let’s keep that as a possibility. Thank you for adding that idea.”