Are you living in May-Hem?

May-Hem: the time in May that takes over your life leading up to summer break with the kids.
​Ever notice how many more demands there seem to be on your time in the month of May and on into the summer?

It can feel like Mayhem, trying to juggle everything that is going on as well as added outdoor chores, children being home from school, vacations, special events and different schedules.

I know I have been picking up on it. And even if you don't have a lot going on you may be picking up the overwhelm from those around you. 
 
If you are feeling added stress, be aware of the toll it may be taking on you, your body, and your relationships. 

Of course, we all have choices that we can make that can ease the stress, but all too often we become victims of our own choosing by taking on more than we really care to. We become victims of not wanting to be judged by others.

And for parents, what do you want to teach your kids about making choices? Or maybe even better, what can you learn about making choices from your kids? Ever notice that kids, especially young ones, don’t worry about what other people will think, and will choose anyway? This changes as they grow older and receive the influence of adults.

The reason for this message today, is to give you permission to stop, ask some questions about what you are choosing and why. 

Is something else possible that you never considered? Do you have some limitations that keep you from choosing for you? What awareness comes to you when you stop and ask questions? 
 
When I stop, and ask questions about what I am choosing, I often discover that I am making my choices based on what I think others want me to choose. I make my choices based on obligations, especially if it involves family. It became clear to me that when I choose from that place, I am not really choosing for me. I often end up resenting my choice or feeling like I had to make that choice. The result- I don’t enjoy the event as much as I could have if I had chosen from a place of what works best for me.

The bottom line here is to acknowledge that YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE.
Okay, I get that, now what do I do about all those judgments if I really don't want to go to an event and yet I am expected to be there? I get it, I have been there.

And then I ask myself: 
How long, Mary, are you going to allow other people to control your life? Is now the time to be honest with myself and own the fact that I am the source of my own happiness? How long will I let what other people think, make my choices for me? Am I really doing anyone any kindness by never choosing for me?

The truth is, this has taken me some time to move through. And what I have experienced is a freedom to have choice that isn't dependent on what other people think or expect AND when I let them know that I won't be attending their event, I do so with appreciation for being asked and guess what- they get over it. Yes, there are those who want to control your life and make you feel bad for making choices, and for those people, even family, is now the time to change that, to step into making my own choices? 

Back to being overwhelmed by all the choices and things that you do want to do - Mayhem in your life. How do you handle those? Here are some suggestions:
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1. Be aware of how much is required and let go of doing more than is needed.
2. Make the choice to enjoy it-the power to be joy is yours. What would it take for me to enjoy this event/occasion with total ease and fun?
3. Acknowledge that you have more energy than you think you do. If you feel that you are running low on energy, do a judgment check. How much judgment of you or anything else have you been sucked into? All judgment, good and bad, drains you of your energy.  
4. Be aware of what else is going on that may be adding to your stress- Is this even yours or are you more aware of what is going on around you that isn’t yours but you think because you sense it, it must belong to you? Release all of that and allow more ease into your life.
5. What if you gave yourself the gift of having time to yourself or to your own pleasures that give you relief from stress? Give yourself a timeout and don’t make excuses for it. Everyone will be better off if you do.
6.  Is your body telling you something that you need to pay attention to? Have you locked some of these feelings into your body? Do you need some movement, massage, energy work, a good meal, a refreshing walk, or time with nature to receive its energy?

And what can you add to this list that you know, but you haven’t been willing to acknowledge for yourself, so that you can allow yourself to let go of being the victim of non-choice? Empower yourself to BE more than you have ever allowed yourself to BE.

Will this summer be the time that you change what isn’t working in your life?
​Will you find that there may be mayhem all around you and yet you are at ease with peace and calm?

May the choice be with you!​

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