Adults can go into all kinds of judgment when it comes to talking about our bodies.
Not so with kids. Until children are taught how to judge their bodies, they don't. They are free to explore and discover their bodies in ways that allow them to BE with their bodies.
AND then...parents, culture, religion, society, step in and take that all away changing from being in allowance of our bodies to judgment, comparison and criticism.
Ask yourself, "If my body were my best friend, is this how I would treat it, talk to it and relate to it?"
"Do I want the children of the world to grow up judging their bodies as never good, perfect or right?"
"What can I do to stop and change the way that I relate to my body?"
The first step is to stop judging it. Be in awe of your body and all that it is. I found this definition of embody: to collect or unite in a comprehensive whole, system. Being united with your body rather than treating it as if it is separate will allow you to follow how your thoughts, feelings, emotions, choices, expressions are all integral to your body. Embodiment is to come into communion with your body, just as children naturally do and as you did once upon a time.
There’s a line from a song by Tim Minchin called “Not Perfect”. In one particular part of the song he is referring to his body and he says, “Here’s the really weird thing, I’ve spent so much time hating it (body) and it never says a bad word about me.”
When you are judging your body, who are you being or who is really judging your body? What if you stepped into the awareness that you bought that this is how we treat our bodies from others?
Using our own power within, each of us can create a different reality with our bodies that most people don't experience. It starts with acknowledging the goodness within our bodies, the power to create something beyond what we have ever experienced before (or at least not since we were wee little), and enjoy being in a physical presence full of sensational experiences that we would not have if it were not for our bodies.
Relating to Children
As parents go about the task of raising children, consider what points of view were projected onto you that have effected your relationship with your body. Have any of these caused you to disconnect from your body? Do any of those points of views celebrate your body with honor and joy? What are you projecting onto your children?
Be in awareness that your judgments about your body, do project onto your children. We can teach our children about their bodies without placing judgment. Using the tool of Acknowledgment, rather than judgment allows our children to ask questions, feel comfortable with their bodies and continue to embody a loving relationship with their body.
You may find that your children reflect back to you those beliefs and judgments. As you see yourself reflected in ways that are uncomfortable and difficult to be with, know that these can be changed. Be grateful for your child's reflection of you; it will allow you to see what you love about yourself as well as what areas need some adjustment.
Perfection isn't Real
People of all ages fall into the trap of wanting a perfect body and never achieving it. Perfection is not attainable in our mind, because we have made it so. How many keep striving for perfection and even though they may achieve a goal, they still lack perfection in their own mind. Our bodies are already perfect in as much as we have created them to be in this moment. Your body has beautifully and brilliantly aligned itself to the beliefs, thoughts, conclusions and judgments that you have acquired through the years.
If you don't have the body you would like, just keep judging it and see how much it changes. Have you ever judged anything and watched it change- not in my lifetime. Judgment tends to lock in how something or someone is currently Being.
Having allowance for your body, acknowledging what is going on with your body, asking it questions about what it requires to create something different and most of all, expressing gratitude (you can't have gratitude and judgment at the same time) for all that our body is and does for you in spite of what you have done to it will bring more ease and joy with being in your body. Talk to your body as you would to your loved ones.
Just as you would in a relationship, have "do-overs" with your body so that you get in the practice of rewording your thoughts and feelings and transforming them to appreciation and acknowledgment. This practice may even help you with transforming your relationship with others too. How we relate to ourselves is often reflected in how we relate to others.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.