I like Mondays. They are my reset day. It is like getting a fresh start for the week. I get back on track after the weekend. BUT...

...sometimes a  deeper reset is needed and can't wait until Monday. That was my experience this week. Saturday came and I needed to take a day to reset myself. ​

Happy Valentine's Day! 
This week's message is coming a day early to give you some inspiration as the day of love approaches, or for whenever you feel confused about love.
​
I came upon these answers that 4-8 years olds gave when asked, "What does love mean to you?" These alone offer inspiration-​

FAILURE

Yep that's the word that can stop you or inspire you to keep going. It all depends on what failure means to you and how it has been projected onto you from others in your past. 

My online dictionary defines failure as:
 the omission of expected or required action; lack of success.

An action or choice that you made may not have given you the expected results, or may not have succeeded as you thought it would, does that mean that YOU are a failure
or was it that

It was the morning of Christmas Eve, when the text came in from a family member. They would not be able to make it for Christmas after all. As soon as I read it, I felt the emotions well up.

Throughout this year, I have been working on being with my emotions and allowing them to give me information.

So, I let the tears flow,

It is easy for adults to get caught up in emotions following the results of an election. This year has been a draining year when it comes to emotions. Adults who interact with kids would be wise to be aware of how these fueled emotions may be affecting kids. Many kids are sensitive to emotions and don't realize the difference between what belongs to someone else and what is theirs. This will cause children to fall into anxiety, sadness, anger and confusion which may be released through different behaviors. 

My first suggestion is to do your own check in with where you are at with your feelings and emotions. Are you projecting any of that in any way that your children may be picking up on. Remember, you don't have to say anything, they will sense it without any words being said. You may be able to take a clue or two from your child and connect to their world of infinite possibilities. What else is possible through this that we have never considered? - may be a starting point to get yourself in check. What would it take for you to find your own peace and calm? 

Next, be aware of any changes that your child may be demonstrating that are not their usual behavior or responses. Check in with what you are aware of about this and what do you sense it may be about. Then you can ask your child, "What are you experiencing, feeling or thinking?" If they bring up that they are sad, angry, confused, anxious, mad, or frustrated, you can ask them if they know what that might be about. They may say they don't know, which is one way of them telling you that it isn't theirs; they don't have a reason to be in such a mood. You can then offer them a way of releasing the feelings, which really aren't feelings, but rather they are perceiving these energetic moods and attaching them as real for them. Let them know that they can take charge and destroy and un-create those feelings and thoughts. One way is to choose how you would like to release or destroy those thoughts and feelings. One boy told me that he liked to light a fuse and let it blow up. Another girl told me that she imagined doing a karate chop that broke it all to pieces. It is up to them. Allow them to use this to destroy those emotions that aren't theirs and to choose how they would like to be feeling. For more ideas watch the video above. 

Teaching kids that they don't need to be controlled by emotions, theirs or those of anyone else empowers them to choose a better response that isn't steeped in fear or doubt. It is what empowered parents offer to their kids. 

 This being suicide awareness month, I just finished watching a Gathr at Home film - Tell My Story. In this film a father whose son died by suicide shares his journey of grief, understanding and bringing together information about why suicide continues to increase in causes of death, especially in children 12-24. And most importantly, what can parents do to prevent these tragedies. 

Many parents I have met in past 19 years have blamed themselves for their child's suicide. They all believe that they could have done something. Maybe that is true. Maybe there are some things we can do as parents that would allow our children to know that their life is worth living and that the pain they feel can be talked about. 

Being a parent whose child died by suicide, it was hard to watch this film and yet, it also brought forth information about what parents can do to be more supportive for their kids when they are hurting. I realized I could have done better with my son. My son, like many kids who suffer from depression, become very good at hiding his true feelings. As he got older, he  turned to alcohol to deaden the feelings. I tried to connect with him, but I really didn't know how and was often afraid to see him feeling so bad and I didn't know how to make it better for him.