“What am I responsible for as a parent?”
It is easy to get confused about what a parent is truly responsible for in raising their children and what they aren’t. Going overboard with the responsibility can lead to disabling your child and robbing them of experiences that they need to grow and thrive to be independent.
What if we took the word responsible and turned it into response-able? This gives parents the space to choose what response they are able to give to their child that will empower their child to live a full responsive and empowering life.
Comparing ourselves to other parents or being afraid that we will be judged for how we respond to our children can prevent us from responding in ways that work best for us and our child. One way to do this is to get clear on your role as a parent. What are the issues that fall to your care and which ones are for your child to work through with your support.
Music, is it the element we have forgotten that can heal us? Do we realize the potential that music has in bringing family together, connecting with our children and using it to bring harmony to our lives?
I had forgotten. And it took having a special guest on my radio show to remind me. And for that I am grateful! It is funny how these things come together.
My guest, Bill Protzmann, a Practical Heart Skills Advisor at Music Care, Inc. shared insights about the power of music that humans can apply in various ways to heal, connect, feel, and release. While I was especially interested in how families can use music to develop deeper bonds and be empowered, I also took away remembrances and reflections about music that spoke to me in my life.
Re-programming is needed when we are using old programs to create new results. When a parent keeps trying to do the same thing hoping that someday they will get the result that they want from their kids, and that day just never seems to come, re-programming is needed. Trying to use old programming only brings more frustration and confusion for both parent and child. Come along as we explore ways to re-program parent skills and mindsets that benefit both child and adult.
Courage- the mental and moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty- comes from the latin root- heart. Thank you Miriam Webster for that definition.
Most parents probably could tell you that being a parent takes courage. It is an adventure full of unknowns, and in which both parent and child will persevere, will face dangers- real or imagined and of course be faced with difficulties.
As I reflected on my own parenting courage with each of my children, I also became aware of some different kinds of courage that I needed to be willing to be so that I can be more empowered to be me and to empower my kids to be all that they can be. I thought it would be interesting to list some of these "courage challenges" here and see if you identify with any of them.
If you have been asking, but not receiving, what might that be about?
Ask and you shall receive.
It is one of the key elements in manifesting the life that makes life worth living!
It has become my daily practice to fill my day with asking questions that allow my life to expand and not contract.
When I ask questions like- "What in the world was I thinking?" or " What's wrong with me that I would do that?" my world contracts into a tight space of judgment. And I can't receive anything from that space, except more judgment. And I don't know about you, but more judgment is not on my "ask" list.
We are now about halfway through the summer. How are you managing having the kids around more? Do you have mixed feelings about loving your kids and loving time without them? You are not alone and in fact, parenting isn’t about being with your kids 24/7. The transition to summer with kids at home can be difficult for both kids and parents. Most kids also like to have time when mom and dad aren’t around too. They like their independence. Here are a few tips that can create more ease during the summertime as well as other times that are transitions.
It is easy to become so focused on the needs of everyday life when raising kids, that a parent can forget to take care of oneself. And yet, if a parent is to be effective in caring and nurturing a child, it is vital that the parent make sure to do their own self-care.
When you take the effort to give yourself the care you need you receive many benefits:
For more tips about the value of self and care and getting comfortable with your self-care listen to the replay of Vital Care for Parents on the Be You Parenting Radio show.
Image above provided by: Image by Oberholster Venita from Pixabay
Parents find themselves in all kinds of situations that can bring on exasperation, leaving them feeling helpless and even frustrated and angry:
This parent is running late and needs to get himself and his kids out the door, when suddenly the 4-year-old daughter complains of a stomachache and loses her breakfast all over the doorway. What’s a parent to do?
Another parent is ready to finally call it a day and get some much-needed sleep and her 10-year-old son announces that he has a science project due the next day and hasn’t started. What’s a parent to do?
And this parent has finally worked out a schedule for co-parenting with her child’s father and then finds out that he has been asked to go out of town for his job on the times that he was going to take them, leaving the child without any day care. What’s a parent to do?
There are endless scenarios that throw parents into a fit of panic for things that occur that weren’t planned for.
I was interviewed to talk about self care and how it relates to parenting. I see a lot of parents, myself included who consistently put everything and everyone else before taking care of themselves. I have learned through my own trials that this doesn't really work out the best for me or those I love and care about.
In this interview we touched on what is self care. It isn't just that you eat right, get exercise and occasionally take some me time, although those things are part of self care. There is also the self care we do when we stop judging ourselves. Do you know of any higher form of abuse than Self-Judgment?
I want to share with you how my judgments affected my parenting. I wanted so much to be the perfect parent and to do right by my kids.
I am amazed at the things parents, teachers, and other adults who are caring for children will say to kids. I will admit that after reflection, I have said some dis-empowering things to kids. If one could just hear what is said and then be aware of the effect it has on the receiver, they might actually choose to say something else or nothing at all.
Recently a parent dropped their child off for class and told them to “work hard.” These words imply that the child needs to work hard in order to achieve.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.