Are you making that so real for you that you can't experience more ease with parenting? I used to think that too and as I raised my 3 sons and then added in 2 step children, I became a master at making life as hard I could. I mastered:
- projecting my fears, doubts and beliefs onto my children.
- discounting the fact that the kids knew more than I did about many things.
- taking on guilt for the choices that they made.
- feeling alone and hopeless many nights.
- giving away my own power to others and situations.
I had taken all I could take and I made the demand that things change. Then I began asking questions and bit by bit my life and my relationship with my kids began to take on a different way of being. As I let go of the belief that being a parent was hard, more ease has become a reality. Who knew that using some simple pragmatic tools and techniques could have such a profound effect on my life?
The first tool I received and now use as my #1 go to for all thoughts, feelings and emotions is "Who does this belong to?" How much of what you think really initiated with you? Yeah, I get that it sure feels like it when it is in your head, and yet really?
What if you have the capacity to pick up other people's thoughts and feelings and then you just think that they are yours? How much energy do you spend trying to make sense of it all when it isn't even yours? Pretty draining huh? When we acknowledge what isn't ours we then have the choice to ask what is true for each of us without having to buy into other people's points of view.
Take a moment and consider how many points of view there are about what it means to be a good parent and how much do you try to fit into those view points? Trying to fit into something that isn't true for you, does not create ease, joy or even the being that you are here to BE. I sure gave it good go and in the process I lost me, trying to be someone I am not here to be.
The judgments I carried about what is right and wrong didn't belong to me. Stepping into a different possibility that included these judgments aren't mine; they have been handed down over time and space and they are destroying my relationship with my kids and others. Just because that is the way what we have always believed, doesn't mean it works for us. What if NOW is the time to look at these things with another possibility that doesn't include judgment. It all begins with knowing that it doesn't belong to me and I can return it and move forward with a different choice.
Is there a place that you can begin to use "Who does this belong to?" Play with it and be willing to return it to sender. You will have more availability to you and more clarity about what is true for you.
I get that getting started with becoming empowered to BE all of you can bring up some doubt, confusion and maybe even some resistance about the changes that will take place when more of you shows up. How long has it been since you really felt you were you? Are you willing to use being a parent as a way of connecting to you?
If you are, I invite you to join other parents who are stepping with courage into parenting from a different place of being. Together we will journey into the unknown possibilities and celebrate the changes that contribute to empowering you, your kids and the planet.
Click here for opportunities to get you started being more empowered.
How much fun can you have on the journey?