My middle son, Ben, was what was referred to as "a strong willed" child. I will say that my upbringing and my demeaner as his mom, was totally the opposite. Never would I have insisted to my parents what I wanted, what I knew or what I needed. So isn't it wonderful that I was blessed with a son who did. He knew what he wanted and he knew what he needed. He held a deeper knowing of who he was, than I could identify with.
He was totally out of my comfort zone and because I couldn't be comfortable with his difference, I did what many people do - I made him wrong for being who he was. The only thing this gave me was a sense of being right, and still very frustrated in how to parent him. I wanted him to compromise who he was, so that I could feel successful and comfortable as a parent.
I will admit that at this time, I was not an empowered, conscious parent. I did not have the skills to see the gift that he was giving me.
I did not get these messages during his lifetime, as he ended his life at the age of 19. While I don't take full responsibility for his passing on, I have always been in question of what was I to gain from all of this? Now I have another gem to add to the gift box of presents that I have received from having Ben in my life.
As I go further into letting go of being right, I have discovered that acknowledging that other people who are not like me, are not wrong and that I can learn about other possibilities when my comfort zone is limiting my life experience and journey.
The value of allowing people to be who they are without judgment or complaint has just become a much bigger target for me. Seeking to see what I may learn from people who are able to be who they are and still nurture and care for others who are different is most valuable to me and I have immense gratitude from my heart for having them in my life.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.