What is an Empowered Parent?
When I wrote my book for parents and titled it Empowered Parents Empowering Kids, I had a vision of the parent – child relationship transforming into something greater than it had ever been before, at least for many families. I find that not many parents stop to consider whether they are empowered or not AND whether they are empowering their children. They may assume that because they are parents they are empowered. And if so they may be doing themselves and their children a disservice.
To be empowered is to receive and acknowledge that you have been given the authority, ability and power. Have you ever considered who gives this power? And how it is to be used for the good of the family, in the case of parents? What do you have power over- your kids, your family, yourself?
This examination of empowerment may be useful as you look at your role as a parent? In writing my book, I wanted to share the idea that being an empowered parent is about a parent receiving and acknowledging their own inner power to access a greatness inside that brings forth genuine caring, kindness, and nurturing love for self as well as for others. Empowerment is not something that is meant to be given away once it is acknowledged. We receive and connect to our inner power when we acknowledge the power of Being. Just by being we hold the power.
For proof of this, just go back to the day that your child was born.
How much power did the child have just by being? What was your response to the birth and the choice of your child coming into your life? Nothing had been done to prove that the child was worth having the power of life and living other than being born.
This suggests that we are born empowered. And what we do with that power to BE is often affected by the environment around us. Are we empowered to stay connected to our power and not to give it away? My experience in this current reality is that there are many forces out there that would like us to not be empowered, and to stay small and weak and indecisive; to let others make our choices for us. This is not the vision I have for family living today. I would like to see that change.
The first step is to reconnect parents to their inner empowerment of Being. We do that by acknowledging all the ways in which power has been given away. There are some clues along the way that will let us know when we have done that. Once parents reconnect to being empowered, they can effectively keep their children connected to their own power.
How do you know if you are an empowered parent?
Let’s look at some symptoms that may give you a clue as to whether you are empowered or not.
An empowered parent would not give their power away to worry. They would utilize tools like asking questions, perceiving energy and making choices that would allow them to eliminate worry. They would be in allowance of the power that their child has to create their life.
An empowered parent would not judge themselves or others. Nothing diminishes power faster than judgment. Empowerment is to be in allowance, to ask questions about changing what doesn’t work and moving forward. Are you a parent who keeps trying to do the same thing over and over, only to get the same results so you can keep judging yourself? Empowered parents ask what is possible that they haven’t even considered that can change the situation. Empowered parents see the value in allowing their children to make choices and not judging themselves or the child for the choices.
Emotions are dis-empowering and do not allow you to know what you perceive. When you can perceive what is, you can choose what to do or be. I may perceive anger, sadness, even happiness and from this perceiving, I can choose what I would like to be and how.
Having children to fulfill your need is dis-empowering to you and to them. This assigns a role for both parent and child that doesn’t allow either the freedom to be more of who they are. An empowered parent will allow their child to contribute to what is already working in the parent’s life, not burden them with the job of making it worthwhile and meaningful. How many parents have wanted to make their children happy and on the flip side, would like to have their children make them happy? What if we could empower ourselves to be the source of our own happiness and do the same for our children?
Surprisingly, I have encountered many parents who feel this way at one time or another. They have given away their power to create being a parent in a different way than other people do. They have lost their power to discover different possibilities for being a parent that will work for them and for their kids. All too often parents buy into how parenting has to look, without realizing that they can create their style of parenting that will not only work for them, but it will also empower their kids to create their lives outside the box.
These are some clues that may indicate that you have become dis-empowered. Do not be discouraged, you can re-connect to your empowerment. The first step is to acknowledge that you have it, you can be it and it can be a tremendous contribution to living your life greater than ever before. It is not about having control over anyone else. As a matter of fact, one of the first places to start is to identify all the places that you try to control others and begin to let go of that. In trying to control others, you are acknowledging the lack of control in your own life. While there are professionals who are here to assist with your re-connection, I also suggest letting go of all judgments and being in more allowance of yourself and others.
Empowered parents empowering kids will create a greater future for the world and for our planet. Sending forth heartfelt gratitude to those parents who acknowledge the value of being empowered and empowering their kids.
Mary shares her desire to create different possibilities for families and individuals who are looking to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle. BE YOU Parenting is for parents who want to BE all that they truly BE and to allow their kids the same privilege.