Empowered Parent Survey Results
In truth, if you answered YES to any of the survey questions, you have at least one area of dis-empowerment that can use some adjustment. The questions from the survey allow you to acknowledge the areas that may be causing some discord between you and your children as well as other relationships, including your relationship with self.
Not to worry or to judge yourself. This is a tool that allows you to become more aware of what is coming between you and your child. It indicates places where you have lost connection to the power within to choose something different. These connections can be restored and your empowerment increased to the degree that allows you to parent with more ease, confidence and joy.
It takes courage to see ourselves how we are currently showing up. If we are being controlled by someone or something, it will continue until we acknowledge it for what it is, change the cause that is keeping us from choosing something else and make a different choice. Most of us aren't brought up with the techniques, strategies and tools to make these changes. Having a coach who can introduce the tools, encourage practice and acknowledge the progress is an empowering way to step into greater possibilities. Using this process with parents, has a dynamic effect on children, as they will learn to live an empowered life from an empowered parent. What a gift for both parent and child.
The good news is that is much easier than you may think to make the changes when you have the proper tools. It does take that initial step to ask for assistance and guidance.
Is now the time to step into being more of you? You can schedule an appointment to see Mary through the Parent Coaching schedule or contact her directly.
See below for specific questions and areas to consider for each question on the survey.
Not to worry or to judge yourself. This is a tool that allows you to become more aware of what is coming between you and your child. It indicates places where you have lost connection to the power within to choose something different. These connections can be restored and your empowerment increased to the degree that allows you to parent with more ease, confidence and joy.
It takes courage to see ourselves how we are currently showing up. If we are being controlled by someone or something, it will continue until we acknowledge it for what it is, change the cause that is keeping us from choosing something else and make a different choice. Most of us aren't brought up with the techniques, strategies and tools to make these changes. Having a coach who can introduce the tools, encourage practice and acknowledge the progress is an empowering way to step into greater possibilities. Using this process with parents, has a dynamic effect on children, as they will learn to live an empowered life from an empowered parent. What a gift for both parent and child.
The good news is that is much easier than you may think to make the changes when you have the proper tools. It does take that initial step to ask for assistance and guidance.
Is now the time to step into being more of you? You can schedule an appointment to see Mary through the Parent Coaching schedule or contact her directly.
See below for specific questions and areas to consider for each question on the survey.
What is an Empowered Parent?
From the survey questions we get an idea of what an empowered parent is not. For many parents these traits seem to be what is normal for parents. Aren't they supposed to worry and to fear for their children? What parent doesn't feel guilty or at time want their child to go away? Being a parent is the hardest job on the planet, so we are told. And what will happen to our children if we don't judge their actions and choices? What else could there possibly be than to respond to my child in these ways?
Stop for just a moment and ask what would life be like if your parents didn't judge you, didn't impose fear, guilt, doubt and worry on you? What would your life be like if they had empowered you to know what you know, allowed you to experience life without the heaviness of judgment and taught you how to maneuver through the difficulties in life with more ease and joy. While we acknowledge that all of our parents did the best parenting they could with what they knew, we can be bold and ask is it what we want for our children? Is there something greater that our kids are asking for to be empowered to live a life that ensures their capacity to be who they are here to be?
What would it be like to parent from allowance, honor, gratitude, trust and vulnerability? Where have we lost what those elements mean and how dynamic they are when applied to relationships with self and with others. Choosing to parent differently than other parents for a greater world for us and for future generations takes courage to step into our own empowerment to make a difference. It may take some assistance to let go of what keeps you from making the changes needed. Ask yourself if you are willing to be the change the world needs now.
Children raised by empowered parents:
Stop for just a moment and ask what would life be like if your parents didn't judge you, didn't impose fear, guilt, doubt and worry on you? What would your life be like if they had empowered you to know what you know, allowed you to experience life without the heaviness of judgment and taught you how to maneuver through the difficulties in life with more ease and joy. While we acknowledge that all of our parents did the best parenting they could with what they knew, we can be bold and ask is it what we want for our children? Is there something greater that our kids are asking for to be empowered to live a life that ensures their capacity to be who they are here to be?
What would it be like to parent from allowance, honor, gratitude, trust and vulnerability? Where have we lost what those elements mean and how dynamic they are when applied to relationships with self and with others. Choosing to parent differently than other parents for a greater world for us and for future generations takes courage to step into our own empowerment to make a difference. It may take some assistance to let go of what keeps you from making the changes needed. Ask yourself if you are willing to be the change the world needs now.
Children raised by empowered parents:
- are equipped with tools to overcome challenges with more ease
- don't feel that they have to be perfect
- make choices better suited for them
- are free to BE the amazing being they are here to be
- don't judge themselves or others
- tend to choose to be happy
- go on to raise empowered kids naturally
- will be the change the world needs
Survey Results:
Responses for Empowered Parent Survey
1. Do you spend time and energy worrying about your child?
If you answered yes to this question, you are expending energy that you have no control over the results. What are your greatest fears? Working to resolve those fears will allow you to stop projecting those fears onto your child and give you more peace of mind.
2. Do you react to your child in ways that you regret afterwards?
If you answered yes to this question, a couple of things to be aware of- Do you require more tools and different ways to respond to your child? Are you being triggered by your own experiences and fears that promote this automatic response? Focus on asking questions that will bring to the changes that you need so that you can respond in ways that nurture, encourage and empower both you and your child. Then act on the possibilities and awareness that shows up. Do you need some outside assistance that can be objective and direct with making these changes?
3. Do you feel that the choices your child makes are your fault?
If you answered yes to this question, you have not recognized the power that your child has in making their own choices and learning from them. You are giving your child a platform from which to blame others for their choices and thereby not allowing them to acknowledge the effect of their choice. You may ask yourself how much you try to control the choices and outcomes that occur in your family? This may be seated in fear, of not having control in your own life, of taking the blame for other events in your life or you carry guilt for others.
4. Do you judge yourself and your parenting skills?
If you answered yes to this question, see if any of this may be true for you:
I don’t trust myself.
I don’t give myself credit for all that I do that works out.
Are the judgements really true, or have you fallen into the pattern of judging yourself due to some underlying beliefs.
Ask the question, “What would it take to change this? Where can I get the assistance I need to make this change?” Take action. It isn’t going to get better not doing anything. Judgement is the most destructive force we use to keep ourselves limited and powerless.
5. Do you find yourself wishing that your child would be more normal or like everyone else?
If you answered yes to this question, you are not acknowledging the gifts, abilities and capacities that is your child. You might begin by asking, “How much were you acknowledged for your special gifts as a child? How often did you make yourself less than so that you could be more normal?” Is this a matter of being judged? Do you want to protect your child from the things that other people may do or say because your child is different? If your child senses that they need to be protected, how will they learn to stand up for without your protection? What is the message that your child is receiving- that there is something wrong with them? Something that needs to be fixed?
6.Do you often feel overwhelmed?
If you answered yes to this question, is it time to look at where you are expending your energy, how many judgments are you locked into (giving and receiving), how difficult do you believe life needs to be, are there changes that you can make to create more ease in your life. What if you empowered the people around you to be all they can be, would that lighten your load?
7.Do your emotions take control of you?
If you answered yes to this question, begin to look at your emotions more as something that you do have choice over. Start by asking, “Is this my emotion or someone else’s?” “Who am I being when this takes control of me?” Acknowledge that if this is your emotion, ask, “Is this the best choice for me, and what other choices do I have?” You may need some outside assistance with this to clear the hold these emotions have on you. Be aware of how you project these emotions onto your children.
8.Do you live in fear that something bad will happen to your and/or your children?
If you answered yes to this question, first know that you are projecting this fear onto your children. Ask is this fear real? Is this fear mine or someone else’s? What past experiences are you holding onto that are locking this fear into place. Ask, “What can I do to change this? Who can assist me with changing this?”
9. Do you feel cheated or resentment being a parent?
If you answered yes to this question, ask yourself how much did you want to be a parent? Why did you choose to become a parent? Is your resentment out of trying to parent like someone else or measure up to some else’s standards? Be honest with your answers. What do you feel cheated out of and begin to ask questions that would allow you to parent in a different way that would honor you and honor your kids. There are many creative ways to parent that still give kids and what they need.
10. Do you often wish your kids would go away and then you feel guilty?
If you answered yes to this question, begin to check in with what your expectations of being a parent include. Do you believe that your kids need you more than they actually do? Are you getting time for you and your interests? Do you find you feel guilty more than you don’t even about other things? Create time for yourself and give your kids a break from you too. Empower your kids to be creative in how they can spend their time without you. Is your target to raise your kids so that they are independent of you? If so, give them opportunities to make choices that allow them time and experiences away from you. Find other people to be with and even take care of your kids if you need time away. Seek additional help.
11. Do you need your kids to fulfill your life?
If you answered yes to this question, you may also ask yourself, is this a burden to my kids? Do they feel responsible for my life and my happiness? Imagine being on the receiving end of that. Start to explore what your life can be like outside of the kids. What other interests do you have? What more to life is there besides raising your kids? When you expand your life beyond your kids, you let them know that life is worth living for yourself that isn’t dependent up on others. It doesn’t mean you love your kids any less, it does mean that you love yourself all the more to commit to living your life for you- no matter who is in your life.
12. Do your kids rely on you to do things that they are capable of doing for themselves?
13. Do your kids control your life?
If you answered yes to these questions, ask yourself, “What am I doing that entrains my kids to think that they can’t do these things for themselves? Am I setting them up to be dependent on others rather than being empowered to use the capacities they do have? Do I believe in my kids to be able to figure things out for themselves, giving them the message that I do believe in them? Do I feel needed when I can do these things for my kids, even though I know they can do them without me? Am I afraid I’ll lose my kids if I don’t do these things? Have I surrendered my choices over to the demands of my kids?” Be honest with what shows up with these questions, and from that awareness you will be able see what needs to change.
14. Are you afraid to allow your kids to make their own choices?
If you answered yes to this question, ask, “What am I truly afraid of here? Am I willing to allow my child to gain experience and awareness from the choices made? Am I projecting my fear onto my kids that keeps them afraid of choosing? Is my fear making my child more determined to rebel and make choices just to prove they can without being aware of the choices they are making?” Check in for what is true for you in this case, or something else that comes up. Begin the process, alone or with someone, to release all that is holding that fear in place, so that you can choose to be supportive of the choices your child makes and assist in asking questions about those choices to enable your child to gain more awareness about making better choices. Be willing to let go of your own expectations and judgments, this will allow your child to know they can feel safe coming to you about their choices.
Responses for Empowered Parent Survey
1. Do you spend time and energy worrying about your child?
If you answered yes to this question, you are expending energy that you have no control over the results. What are your greatest fears? Working to resolve those fears will allow you to stop projecting those fears onto your child and give you more peace of mind.
2. Do you react to your child in ways that you regret afterwards?
If you answered yes to this question, a couple of things to be aware of- Do you require more tools and different ways to respond to your child? Are you being triggered by your own experiences and fears that promote this automatic response? Focus on asking questions that will bring to the changes that you need so that you can respond in ways that nurture, encourage and empower both you and your child. Then act on the possibilities and awareness that shows up. Do you need some outside assistance that can be objective and direct with making these changes?
3. Do you feel that the choices your child makes are your fault?
If you answered yes to this question, you have not recognized the power that your child has in making their own choices and learning from them. You are giving your child a platform from which to blame others for their choices and thereby not allowing them to acknowledge the effect of their choice. You may ask yourself how much you try to control the choices and outcomes that occur in your family? This may be seated in fear, of not having control in your own life, of taking the blame for other events in your life or you carry guilt for others.
4. Do you judge yourself and your parenting skills?
If you answered yes to this question, see if any of this may be true for you:
I don’t trust myself.
I don’t give myself credit for all that I do that works out.
Are the judgements really true, or have you fallen into the pattern of judging yourself due to some underlying beliefs.
Ask the question, “What would it take to change this? Where can I get the assistance I need to make this change?” Take action. It isn’t going to get better not doing anything. Judgement is the most destructive force we use to keep ourselves limited and powerless.
5. Do you find yourself wishing that your child would be more normal or like everyone else?
If you answered yes to this question, you are not acknowledging the gifts, abilities and capacities that is your child. You might begin by asking, “How much were you acknowledged for your special gifts as a child? How often did you make yourself less than so that you could be more normal?” Is this a matter of being judged? Do you want to protect your child from the things that other people may do or say because your child is different? If your child senses that they need to be protected, how will they learn to stand up for without your protection? What is the message that your child is receiving- that there is something wrong with them? Something that needs to be fixed?
6.Do you often feel overwhelmed?
If you answered yes to this question, is it time to look at where you are expending your energy, how many judgments are you locked into (giving and receiving), how difficult do you believe life needs to be, are there changes that you can make to create more ease in your life. What if you empowered the people around you to be all they can be, would that lighten your load?
7.Do your emotions take control of you?
If you answered yes to this question, begin to look at your emotions more as something that you do have choice over. Start by asking, “Is this my emotion or someone else’s?” “Who am I being when this takes control of me?” Acknowledge that if this is your emotion, ask, “Is this the best choice for me, and what other choices do I have?” You may need some outside assistance with this to clear the hold these emotions have on you. Be aware of how you project these emotions onto your children.
8.Do you live in fear that something bad will happen to your and/or your children?
If you answered yes to this question, first know that you are projecting this fear onto your children. Ask is this fear real? Is this fear mine or someone else’s? What past experiences are you holding onto that are locking this fear into place. Ask, “What can I do to change this? Who can assist me with changing this?”
9. Do you feel cheated or resentment being a parent?
If you answered yes to this question, ask yourself how much did you want to be a parent? Why did you choose to become a parent? Is your resentment out of trying to parent like someone else or measure up to some else’s standards? Be honest with your answers. What do you feel cheated out of and begin to ask questions that would allow you to parent in a different way that would honor you and honor your kids. There are many creative ways to parent that still give kids and what they need.
10. Do you often wish your kids would go away and then you feel guilty?
If you answered yes to this question, begin to check in with what your expectations of being a parent include. Do you believe that your kids need you more than they actually do? Are you getting time for you and your interests? Do you find you feel guilty more than you don’t even about other things? Create time for yourself and give your kids a break from you too. Empower your kids to be creative in how they can spend their time without you. Is your target to raise your kids so that they are independent of you? If so, give them opportunities to make choices that allow them time and experiences away from you. Find other people to be with and even take care of your kids if you need time away. Seek additional help.
11. Do you need your kids to fulfill your life?
If you answered yes to this question, you may also ask yourself, is this a burden to my kids? Do they feel responsible for my life and my happiness? Imagine being on the receiving end of that. Start to explore what your life can be like outside of the kids. What other interests do you have? What more to life is there besides raising your kids? When you expand your life beyond your kids, you let them know that life is worth living for yourself that isn’t dependent up on others. It doesn’t mean you love your kids any less, it does mean that you love yourself all the more to commit to living your life for you- no matter who is in your life.
12. Do your kids rely on you to do things that they are capable of doing for themselves?
13. Do your kids control your life?
If you answered yes to these questions, ask yourself, “What am I doing that entrains my kids to think that they can’t do these things for themselves? Am I setting them up to be dependent on others rather than being empowered to use the capacities they do have? Do I believe in my kids to be able to figure things out for themselves, giving them the message that I do believe in them? Do I feel needed when I can do these things for my kids, even though I know they can do them without me? Am I afraid I’ll lose my kids if I don’t do these things? Have I surrendered my choices over to the demands of my kids?” Be honest with what shows up with these questions, and from that awareness you will be able see what needs to change.
14. Are you afraid to allow your kids to make their own choices?
If you answered yes to this question, ask, “What am I truly afraid of here? Am I willing to allow my child to gain experience and awareness from the choices made? Am I projecting my fear onto my kids that keeps them afraid of choosing? Is my fear making my child more determined to rebel and make choices just to prove they can without being aware of the choices they are making?” Check in for what is true for you in this case, or something else that comes up. Begin the process, alone or with someone, to release all that is holding that fear in place, so that you can choose to be supportive of the choices your child makes and assist in asking questions about those choices to enable your child to gain more awareness about making better choices. Be willing to let go of your own expectations and judgments, this will allow your child to know they can feel safe coming to you about their choices.
